Cosers Confess: My parents won’t let me go for photoshoots!?

Disclaimer: Submissions may be edited for clarity of reading and comprehension.

Dear The Magic Rain,

Recently, I asked my dad if I could attend a photoshoot with other cosplayers (in a group) at a proper photo studio, but he said no. I would understand if he was worried about my safety and if the other cosplayers were trustworthy, but his reply was “Why do you want to go if it’s not even an event?” I can’t ask my mom because she’ll tell me to ask my dad (usually my dad decides whether or not I can go to an event).

I don’t want to let the group down and I also really want to go to a photoshoot for once! How can I make my dad understand that cosplay is not just about dressing up and going to events? Because I also want to immerse myself in the community more by going to photoshoots, making coscards, making new friends, etc. I’m tempted to ask my aunt to take me, but I know that will just make it worse. Please help me!

Kind Regards,
Frustrated

 

Dear Frustrated,

I understand your frustration as I’ve encountered the same situation in the past and even now with my parents when I tell them I am going for a photoshoot with a stranger that they do not know. I’m guessing that you are in your teens right now so your parents should be and will always be concerned with your safety.

There is no easy solution to your question, however, a way you could solve this is to try to see things from your parents’ perspective. Your parents may never understand cosplay the way you do because they come from a different time when such luxuries and hobbies do not exist.

You’re wearing costumes of characters that they do not know of, and going to random events and places to meet strangers who do not look like themselves when they’re in costume. Evidently, there are sexual predators/perverts in the cosplay community. Hence, it is understandable why they would worry about your safety especially when you’re going for a private photoshoot alone or with friends that you may or may not see very often.

You need to be patient with your dad. Things like this will take time. Show him pictures/videos of cosplayers going for shoots or even pictures that the photographer you’re shooting with has done. Something else you could do is to have a “saikang” (helper) that is a close friend of yours that your parents trust to follow you for shoots. If you are female, have a guy friend that’s capable of protecting you to follow you. If not, try to discuss with your photographer whether you can bring a guardian (parents/aunt) to the shoot. I know it may be embarrassing, but doing this may help you gain their trust and give them comfort and ease.

Moreover, if your photographer or cosplay friend is someone that you can trust, they’ll agree and understand why you need your parents to accompany you to the shoot, and may even encourage you to bring them. This is a great way of filtering who you should and should not work with. A photographer or cosplayer who discourages you or becomes upset with you for bringing your parents along even after you’ve explained your situation to them is not someone you should work with. Trust me, those with good intentions and a good heart will understand.

I hope everything will go well for you, dear cosplayer! Don’t give up! You’re already in a better position than many cosplayers out there. For starters, your parents still allow you to buy costumes/go to certain conventions, so you’re halfway through!

I wish you all the best and good luck!

Sincerely,
Ms. Scrumptious


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